Cold, wet things.

I went to my building's laundry room to collect my laundry and found that my clothes had been removed from the dryer and were now piled on the concrete floor, wadded into a ball. A woman had used her own washing machine, or a laundromat washer, and had brought the wet clothes to the laundry room and had decided that she had to dry them immediately. In her mind, my clothes were not as important as her laundry, so they had to be shoved aside.

As punishment for this insult, I have replaced her husband with a man who finds her repulsive and who will in time turn elsewhere for affection. He will take up with a younger woman who looks like his current wife did when they first met. Also, she will be blond, while his wife of today has hair the color of a mouse with shitty-colored hair.

I have also replaced her daughters with girls who will grow distant, and who will feel indifferent to her in their teenage years. One will become pregnant to a married ex-convict who works in a carnival and she will move to New Mexico to live in a partially converted school bus just to be close to her baby's father, who will not return her calls.

Her second replacement daughter will actively hate her mother, and six years from now will physically attack her during a holiday argument over the length of time it takes to cook a 12-pound turkey. It will be after this altercation that her daughter will break off all ties to her mother and her former life. She will relocate to Finland, and her mother will never know anything more about her for the rest of her life. Two years after leaving, the daughter will pantomime placing a phone call to her mother on the anniversary of her birth but will hang up the phone before dialing, eliciting gales of laughter from her girlfriends. The mother of one close friend will insist that she call her "Mom."

Moral: DO NOT CROSS ME by taking my shit out of the dryer, and especially DO NOT PILE MY THINGS ON THE FLOOR! Who does that anyway? Animals do that.

Also, I am offering her original family for sale on Craigslist. The asking price is $350 for the lot, but I am also willing to trade for a dryer.