A writing exercise from the cold storage files.
“Easy does it!”
He held the butterfly up to the fluorescent lamp again. Woodsman knew that this was a dying art and that in another 20 years no one would bother with it at all, but he was determined not to have this knowledge die with him. That’s why he was here, indoors on a beautiful Saturday morning, teaching at the Learning Annex, telling a group of 3 teenagers how to sex butterflies.
“You see that there? That spot right there?” he asked. “Yes,” everyone lied. Woodsman adjusted his glasses and rocked back in his chair. “That’s the yoo-hoo. This one’s a lady.” There was a pause. The 3 students realized that Woodsman was waiting for them to take notes. They each pulled a page of paper from Woodsman’s own notebook and took turns with the lone pen in the room. “This one here’s a dude,” Woodsman offered once the scratching of the ballpoint was finished.
“Lemme see it”, asked the biggest and lumpiest of the academics gathered.
“Look at your own later. This one’s for teachers only,” came the reply.
Woodsman carefully put the butterfly back into the Tupperware container he’d brought with him. He absent-mindedly closed one of its wings into the lid before placing it back in the makeshift carryall he’d fashioned from an empty case of Old Grand-dad.
“That’s pretty much it. There’s only 2 kinds: boys and girls, and that’s basically all you need to know, so class over”, Woodsman said as he pulled a faded red hoodie over his bearlike frame.
“That’s it? It’s only 9:15?! We just got here!” said the smallest student with the dirty-lip mustache.
“Learning is about quality, not quantity”, Woodsman answered. “That’s lesson number one right there. I should have opened with that one, but it’s still important. Good question!”
He gathered up his Grand-dad box and his briefcase. The contents of the briefcase were a mystery to Woodsman, since he’d lost the key to its lock six years earlier. He couldn’t remember what was inside, but it was perfectly reasonable to assume that it was something important, so why not bring it to class today? He balanced it on his knee and switched his Mountain Dew to his other hand.
